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Break Up

The moment had passed...
Silence ushered in,
Cigarettes lit, ashtray's passed
Words remained unspoken.

Seconds lapsed to minutes
minutes ticked to an hour 
and then many...

The occasional sound of water glugging
ended by the resounding silence

She rose and walked purposefully towards the loo
Switched the light on and quietly latched the door
Almost in a single motion.

The sound of a matchstick striking the box 
Indicated another cigarette lit.

Outside, smoke rings peter out.
Heavy, round, ovular rings of smoke
disappear as they rises upwards

The window on the far side was open
Timid yet steady breeze passed in 
every few moments. 

The silence was unnerving
Rattling, almost a death knell
The proverbial lull before the storm...

The flush broke the silence.
Then water gushing out of the basin tap
and a repetitive sound of water 
cupped in the palm, splashing the face.

Outside, a huge heave
a sigh of relief, followed by silent breathing 
The door opened finally
Rays of light from the rest-room flooded the far side

Specks of dust brought in by the gentle gush, now visible.
And then the gentle push to door brought the room back to stark darkness

The darkness was the only soothing thing
No not the only, silence helped too.
Consumed in thought, the cigarette burnt to the butt

Forcing a muted ouch and a flick of the butt.

This is how it would be, thought he
Dark and silent
No words scathing the other
No words, barbed and wiry
No more verbal assaults

Their sharp wits and tongues
Sarcasm had brought them together
Ironically, she reflected.
She groped her hand bag, and found the packet
The last cigarette of the last pack waited.
She knew it was her last, she'd borrowed one from him before she rose
Silently of course.

Fidgety, she'd left the matchbox in the loo
She looked up to meet the eyes she'd been averting
since they'd met here. They looked back.
It was a generous look, not the searing look that made her feel stripped
Neither the glint after a cocky, caustic one liner
She wasn't used to this look.
of apathy, of lifelessness, of acceptance
yet he didn't look down.

He took the lighter out of his shirt pocket
and gently without his usual flourish
offered it to her. She saw the raised arm,
But she was looking in those eyes
Searching for something
she didn't know...

He could always make his eyes talk
Since she'd first seen him, checking her out
His eyes made it clear, it wasn't a look of awe 
He wasn't enamored or smitten.
But he was genuinely interested
she could tell, as her gaze had shifted then
Avoiding those intrusive pair of eyes.

She expected disdain, anger, retaliation in his eyes
but found none, as she picked the lighter 
Careful not to brush her fingers against his hand
She lit up and for a moment blinded him
For in that darkness, her face was clearer now
The signs of weeping hadn't been visible earlier

He didn't feel remorse, or sorrow, or empathy
But strangely felt protective
Not of her perhaps, but of what they shared
Or what they used to share!

He hadn't planned to fall for her
Neither had she, 
It was the game that egged both on
Till most games as these end.
In love, in realization of a passion unexplained.

They hadn't made love
They didn't want to
They just wanted the assurance of each other.
And so it had been, 
Despite his moving away to another city for greener pastures


Till today,
Till he opened the door and saw the house half empty
She had taken away all but one of her cartons
The one which she'd hoarded his letters, movie tickets,
Bills of food and drink, books he'd sent, music he'd shared.

He'd waited for her to arrive
For it was she who had asked him to come.
And so it had been since.
They'd been silent.

The weight of her taking a new lover was not all
The secrecy that shrouded it did
They had spoken every day
Had she lay in bed with someone in one of their conversations?
His mind wandered in myriad directions
Thoughts flooding and replacing till another had even taken shape.

Her phone rang
She answered after the third ring
and quietly murmured, I'll be down in 5.

This time he didn't look into her eyes
Instinctively, despite the darkness
He stared towards the general direction of the door.

She cleared her throat and said "I must leave".
Must you? He thought; "Yes you must" he answered
And without a thought ambled towards the switch board
and switched the lights on.
The lights almost blinded her
But she walked towards the door,
even as she grew accustomed to the light...

She stood at the door and looked back
Waiting for his parting shot, for he always had the last laugh
His face showed no emotion, his eyes placid and true
almost glasslike...
But he didn't fire any salvo's 
He was done.
"Goodbye", he said and turned away.

She stood unmoved, waiting for something
But nothing happened, he didn't even look back at her
She'd hoped it would end amicably, even begged him so
He wanted to keep his word.

The phone rang again, and she instinctively rejected it
She'd hoped for something, yet she didn't know what
She lingered, unmoved for a few more moments 
Then turned her heels, and closed the door behind her. 
After all, the moment had passed...

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